Why can't I be myself?

I have just come across this question which has been in my mind for many years, should I marry a girl or not?
I have been really concerned about this. Also, I am the kinda person who likes to plan whatever that is going to happen before it does. So I have been reading on the internet. Googling "married gay man" and so on. I still haven't got my answer yet. I am still very confused, very uncertain about my future. There is just too much to think, too much to worry about.
From my reading for the past one hour, none of the websites I have been to recommend gay men marrying straight women. Indeed, the women who married a gay man would be incredibly "unfortunate" and her whole life would just be ruined by us. So it is actually our choice... I don't want any innocent person to be hurt, but when it comes to thinking of myself, I would ask "I am the very unfortunate one in this society, wouldn't it be more fair if some of the very fortunate persons sacrifice a bit for us?" Well... I am being not rational now.

I saw a guy I like today

I went to a karaokae today with my sister and I was served by a guy who was around my age. I thought he looked really good, just my type! Definitely my type. But it was sad, he might not a queer and it was just not very possible that I could tell him that I liked his look. Anyway, he looked like a Hong Kong artist, 李威乐. Both of them just look great to me, giving me the same feel. He wasn't very gorgeous, but I just loved to look at his face. Not knowing why, his voice sounded so nice, now I just feel like listening to his voice again.